Google AdSense

So much for "Ungulate". I just checked the Google AdSense ads this morning and none of them had anything to do with mammals that mostly use the tips of their hoofs (hooves?) to support themselves when moving. In fact, I still found the usual trashy ones like "Pics of Beautiful Women", "Hill Country Tattoo", and "Looking for Tech Blogs". Those filthy scummy tech blogs.

Maybe I didn't understand how these things operate. Or maybe the Hill Country Tattoo parlor offers the rare tattoos, like a free-swimming dolphin school, a bowl of oatmeal, or a rough topographical sketch of the Republic of Prekmurje.

Anyway, enough griping about Google AdSense. Actually, that might even be against their Terms of Service. Don't tell on me, ok?

I realized that the picture I posted of Dave Barry yesterday is probably not the best one. It doesn't exactly make him out to be the kind of person who's getting ready to retire sometime over the next few years. If you look closely enough you'll see that his hair is quite long in the back and therefore he looks more like a has-been rock star from the late 70's.

Hmm, probably also not a good idea to rag on the guy who I'm hoping will offer me his job when he buys a ticket for the retirement train. It might even be against his Terms of Service.

All the same, here's a more realistic picture that puts the "age" back in "image", just so you can understand that he's closer to retirement than a comeback tour.

Finally, to throw caution to the wind, I'll do a brief "Today In History" blurb, even though Piggy might be deeply offended. If you don't know who Piggy is, you'll have to read my previous post. Apparently on June 1, 1813, James Lawrence, the mortally-wounded commander of the USS Chesapeake cried out, "Don't give up the ship!" On the page I was looking at, Wikipedia doesn't go into any more details, which is fun because now I can make up my own:

James Lawrence and his first mate (isn't that an official navy occupation?) were playing poker with four scurvy landleggers. I realize that scurvy is actually 71.8 times more likely to affect somebody in the navy than a "landlegger", but seeing as I also invented the term "landlegger", I feel it is ok to let it slide. So this poker game went into some pretty hefty stakes. The USS Chesapeake ended up on the table even though James Lawrence didn't technically have the pink slip for it. He was bluffing. The scurvy landleggers called him on it, and he shot himself fatally in shame. He then called out to his first mate not to give up the ship. He didn't really have to worry too much, because his first mate had a full house, queens over jacks. Oh well. James lived through the ordeal because he was rushed to a doctor almost immediately after the game. Unfortunately, he was hanged three days later for violating the navy's Terms of Service.

Just in case I'm risking any sort of violation myself, I'm going to start adding the links to the websites from which I steal all these pictures. By "steal" I mean "respectfully use after having obtained their permission"...

Yesterday's Dave Barry
Today's Dave Barry
Poker full house
USS Chesapeake