Apologies and Nicknames

I most humbly and profusely apologize to anybody who was incredibly disappointed that there was no posting yesterday. I was busy playing Werewolf with friends and family. Well, we played my upgraded version of Werewolf, which is not too different from the original game, but I've added a few nice perks.

Anyway, it was Sunday regardless, so quit yer yappin.

On June 15, 923 AD: King Robert I of France is killed. Also, King Charles the Simple is arrested by the supporters of Duke Randolph of Burgundy. Now I realize you may not care much about any of this. But I think we should seriously analyze (or rather, comically analyze) noble names. Let's face it--a lot of them are a bit ridiculous.

King Charles the Simple? These nicknames came about after these people died, right? Or were people calling him that to his face? If so, did he mind it? Was there a King Charles the Complex and Full of Emotional Baggage?

It's just not very intimidating. But then again, neither are the following real British monarch names:

Eadwig (Edwy) All-fair
Ethelred the Unready
Harold Harefoot
Richard III Crookback (he was always ringing the palace bells and shouting "Sanctuary")

I mean, some of them really had a knack for intimidation. Alfred the Great, Edmund Ironside, Richard the Lionheart (probably the best one), shoot, even Richard Cromwell is half-decent. His little-known ancestral line was incredibly good at the art of cromming.

Then there's Edwy All-fair.

On this day in 1184, King Magnus V of Norway (that one's alright; I especially approve of the 5 being a V, it's more hardcore) dies in battle. I'm not surprised that he died in battle. He was probably surrounded by a heap of enemy body parts right before he died. In fact, that's probably how he died. He suffocated under the heap.

It's really too bad that this guy bit the dust. If he'd just stuck around for a little less than a millennium, I bet he could have swept through the World's Strongest Man competitions.

And finally on June 15, 1752, Benjamin Franklin proves that lightening is electricity. Coincidentally, this was the same day as Benjamin Franklin's first recorded hospitalization.

You know, come to think of it, I don't know that Ben was all that smart. If you had a hypothesis that lightening was electricity, would you tempt fate by holding something metallic up in a thunderstorm? That's like testing your hypothesis that bullet-proof vests don't work by putting one on and having somebody shoot you.

King Magnus the Bulletproof. That's just amazing.

Although not quite as cool as Staff Sergeant Max Fightmaster, voted manliest name in the world by www.Cracked.com. It's a real guy, too. Don't believe me? Check this out: CBS News Article. Unfortunately, he's not as hardcore as you would imagine. He's a computer technician. But I bet he could still break every bone in my body by looking at me in a particular way. And then, in a gesture of mercy, he would fix my laptop.

By the way, this is not an actual image of Max Fightmaster, but I bet he could do this.

Pictures:
Werewolf
Emotional Baggage
World's Strongest Man Competition
Piledriver on a Shark