This blog will be updated at least weekly, but I'll ultimately shoot for daily. Just a short little nugget of awesomeness to brighten your day. This will not be your conventional blog where I tell you what section of the house I'm sitting in and why that is neat. This will be a comedic expression of amazing...yeah, you know what I mean. I didn't really want to come up with a good grammatical ending to that sentence anyway.
Anyway, I'm hoping to get quite a following. I'll be spreading the word and I'd love for you to do the same. I officially offer $50 to the person who can get me a lunch interview with Dave Barry (see picture on right). I just want to chat with him about his retirement plans. I would assume that if he accepts to meet me for lunch (on my dime of course), he will have already perused this site and be familiar with my work. If he likes it, we could discuss my apprenticeship and I would thereafter begin to walk the great path of wonderful...yup, there's another sentence I won't bother finishing.
My original thought for this website was to name it "Today In History" and each daily posting would point out actual events that happened on that particular day. Of course, it would be funny because I would make fun of things. Unfortunately, it looks like that site has already been claimed. If you go to that link, you'll see that one "Piggy" has taken it upon herself to create an entire blog in which she copies down each day's historical events from Wikipedia and posts them. No comments. No funnies.
And it doesn't look like she's posted anything there since November 11, 2006. And get out your Vietnamese-English dictionary, because Piggy posts first in her native tongue.
I considered trying to buy her out, but I wasn't sure if she had some sort of bizarre cult following that would be angry if I replaced her. So if she ever decides to post again, at least I'm not stepping on anybody's toes (or hooves).
One final note: I have decided to throw in some Google advertisements. They're supposed to be smart and only relate to whatever I write about. So as long as I don't write about ______ or _____, they should all be clean. I'm sorry if they bother you but they might earn me a total of 3 or 4 cents over the next 12 years. A penny earned is a penny...well...earned. Out of pure curiosity, as a little test, I'm going to write several bizarre and unrelated words in a moment, just to see if the Google ads come up with anything that's related.
Republic of Prekmurje
Ungulate
Monotreme echidnas
Oatmeal
Camshaft
Free-swimming dolphin schools
Kudos to anybody who can correctly use all of those in a sentence. More kudos to anybody who can correctly use all of those in the same sentence. Actually, I rescind those further kudos. If you can correctly use all of those in the same sentence, you should find a better use of your time. Trust me, I'm an authority in the area of "should find a better use of my time".
